Relentless in the Face of Depression

I know I’m not the only one who lies in bed in the morning wishing the cloud of depression that makes getting up seem so fruitless and meaningless would just disappear.  It gets so old when it’s there more often than not.  There’s this void, this chasm between me and the energy I have for life and no technique I’ve been taught in therapy helps me cross it.  The joys and relationships that keep me going during the day just don’t seem worth getting up for as I conspire about who I can reschedule with to hang out later and how many tasks can be pushed off to another day.

My secret to getting out of bed and going on with my day wasn’t as a glamorous as I’d hoped.  It never occurred to me in a great epiphany.  It just became what the answer had to be—get up and keep going because you have to.  I wanted an answer that had more sensitivity toward my crushed and depleted feelings, one that removed the problem and reinvigorated me to deal with everything.  This is one of those hard truths that I think I grew stronger for gradually accepting because it taught me how to press on even when I don’t have all the answers to my problems.

I don’t know what the future holds for me and I’m actually glad for that.  It would be pretty bleak if it went exactly how I imagine it might when anxiety and depression are at their worst.  I’m grateful to be loved by a Lord who promises that His plans for me are for my good because that means there’s a light and a hope for me beyond what I see for myself.  There are unpredictable, wonderful moments ahead; He knows I need them to carry on.  I wouldn’t be able to endure through depression’s draining toll without the reassuring knowledge that He will give me what I need to make it through each day even if it’s just barely enough.

Pushing through each day may not seem like much.  However, after a while you start to realize that if you hadn’t gotten up and soldiered on that the happy moment you cherished yesterday or the meaningful moment that made you feel a bit more fulfilled today wouldn’t have happened if you let depression keep you in bed.  So when you’re struggling to get up, it could be beneficial to ask yourself how many good things in your life would you not have been able to witness if you didn’t push?   What might happen today that you would miss?  Let your desire to feel good motivate your feet as you take the first step of your day into the exploration of joyful mysteries yet to unfold.

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9 thoughts on “Relentless in the Face of Depression

  1. Love this! I had such a good day yesterday that it was a bit frustrating to feel the oppressive depression trying to swallow me up today. Like you, I am finding that if I push through these days that I’m surprised to find delights that would have never been seen. I am typing with multi-colored fingernails, complements of my two giggling kids. Could have missed this moment if I had withdrawn from everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

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